Looking at things from multiple perspectives
Covid restrictions are lifted and we head towards a ‘new normal’, this might be a good time to think about lessons learned over the past 18 months; healing that needs to be attended to, and skills and strategies that need to be developed or practiced so as to maintain positive mental health and resilience.
The pandemic has brought us a more deeply known sense of the fact that uncertainty is the bedrock of reality. Therefore, we have learned the futility of too much projecting into the future and also of expectation. These two mental habits generate a lot of fear, anxiety and disappointment, and we’re as well to be rid of them; and to foster the habit of looking at things from multiple perspectives.
For example, what might be considered ‘missed milestones’, such as grad celebrations, first years in college, 21st parties or other rites of passage, could be put into perspective by recognising that going through a pandemic can itself be seen as a rite of passage. Cancelled celebrations can be organised for another time or done in a different way perhaps.
Getting back to doing the things we did pre-Covid might also be something to bring to consciousness and to consider carefully. The past 18 months will have changed us. Covid showed us that there are multiple possibilities and ways of doing things. It showed us dimensions of ourselves and of life not previously encountered or engaged with. It may be that illness or bereavement have changed us. Frustration, anger, boredom and other strong emotions hanging around for longer periods, and with more intensity, may have changed us; or insights may have arrived to challenge us to make changes. Tread carefully. Take your time. Where possible, make choices rather than just falling back into things.
Having endured the privations of Covid, a silver lining being discovered is that something akin to ‘post-traumatic growth’ has developed within us - both as individuals, and as a society. This means that many will have learned to be more resilient and adept at meeting challenges. Many have recognised many more things to be grateful for which might have been taken for granted in the past. The importance of relationships and of seeking and giving support has also have become clearer for people; as have the big questions of life, such as those to do with meaning and purpose.
These positives may co-exist with, or be overridden by, some not so welcome developments. For example, some people may be experiencing an elevation in levels of anxiety – either in a generalised form, or perhaps focused on health, social situations or income. Depression may have arrived or deepened for some, or other aspects of mental ill health may have deteriorated. It is important to seek professional help if any of these have not shifted or improved after two weeks. As with all aspects of our health, early intervention is advisable.
The ‘train wreck’ scenario might also be a factor to consider post Covid. This is a metaphor which describes the process whereby difficulties, and the feelings aroused by them, might continue to arrive (or only begin to arrive) in the aftermath of an event, when one might be expecting to feel relief. Knowing that this delayed reaction might happen; knowing that it is common, and talking about how you’re doing with friends and loved ones will help. You might discover you’re not the only one experiencing this.
Delayed shock and grieving, especially where there was restricted access to ill or deceased loved ones might also begin to arrive in full force now that things are settling down. If more than ‘normal’ grief is being experienced - what is known as ‘complicated grief’ may be present. Talk about all that you are feeling and seek support and professional help if you don’t notice any improvement.
Whatever the degree to which our Covid experiences have impacted us, ‘getting over’ and ‘getting back’ will take time. How long will be unique to each individual and may depend on what was experienced and how it was processed. It is a truism that there are some things one will never get over, and it is a case of finding ways to make peace with, or to create a ‘comfortable’ place to hold them. For anyone who is finding this is not happening, it may be good to speak with a professional.
In general, where one chooses to put one’s focus will be become central to determining the quality of one’s mental health. As far as possible, focus on things fostering resilience, not on all the negatives. Tell your story to others and share the lessons and strengths you’ve developed. The same mental health care strategies apply whether it’s a pandemic, the winter blues or any of the variety of issues life throws at us. So continue to scan for, and implement insights gained and known healthy habits.
Start with the usual things like getting enough sleep, having a healthy diet, exercising, having fun, hobbies and social interaction. Return to pre-loved activities and events if they feel like they still suit you, and focus on enjoying them to the full. Be aware of not letting things become ‘normal’ and taken for granted but consciously focus on gratitude. This is a well-known keystone of good mental health.
Nurse your energies – especially when first getting back to meeting people. It may take a little time to readjust to ‘being social’. It might also be good to focus on being careful not to over-indulge, over-spend or over-compensate in ways that end up causing long-lasting stress or harm.
In other words, don’t drop the healthy habits you may have developed or practiced during Covid. For example, if the roads are too busy to cycle safely now, find another location or exercise outlet. If the ‘Covid kilos’ or such things are holding you back, be careful not to come to believe ‘there’s no point’ or ‘it’s too hard’ to make a change. Be kind and gentle with yourself when developing, re-starting or maintaining healthy habits. Take baby steps, seek help from friends and family, or from a professional if need be. Be vigilant for complacency and also for the waning of discipline.
Recognise and bolster healthy practices you may have stumbled upon inadvertently during Covid, such as time alone. It’s good to have space each day to be still, to relax, reflect and restore. Perhaps you have, or can find, activities to help with this, such as meditation.
Take into account levels of social media use. This can be a double edged sword when it comes to the mental health. Be careful of it, and treat it with the kind of respect it deserves. Limit the amount of time you engage with it and monitor how you’re feeling, how you’re reacting, how it’s impacting on you; and also what, or who, it is taking time from. Perhaps take a day or two a month, or a week, to ‘detox’ and be social media free?
Mental health is just one dimension of our overall wellbeing. There’s nothing to ashamed of if you’re feeling mentally or emotionally under pressure. If you are feeling uncertain about revealing how you’re feeling to others, check out the reasons why? Is it shame, fear, mistrust, or some other factor? Once you have ascertained where your reluctance is coming from, you will be clearer about the next steps to take. Mind your mind, take them and stay well.
